i was just using logic.

Today was the empty bowl dinner and it was a blast. So many people showed up and I bought some awesome bowls! I cut bread for hours and I think I might have sprained my thumb, but that is fine. My life is becoming physically exhausting though. School, work, volunteer work, it’s all becoming too much, I think.

I live so much inside my head these days, amidst a sweaty panic attack, and full-blown mental claustrophobia. Freedom is a lie, and professors are all whores to the imagined future. Freedom is a lie, and we’re all whores to the imagined Future. I need sleep and rest and calm. I remember when life was so simple and I didn’t care about anything. Those were dark times, but at least I could rest and breathe. Now, the darkness calls to me, tempting me back to the inky blackness. It seems like ages since the last time I fell, so long ago that I cannot even remember it. The attraction grows stronger with each passing second and the shade over existence grows darker. I feel myself losing my grip. Reality is becoming distorted with each passing moment replaced by the next and nothing lasts longer than an instant. So here I lie, preparing to take the plunge.

…
01000010 01111001 01100101,
Turquoise

~ by angstrazedarmies on November 17, 2008.